On Identity and Attraction

While I was nearing our house from school Thursday last week, I saw a girl standing outside our gate. I peeked over her umbrella and saw her face and was surprised that she's a student of mine. I invited her over to our apartment because it was nearing noon and the sun was power-tripping again. After settling down on the sofa, I asked her what on earth is she doing there and she told me our guy neighbor is her "bestfriend" and they had a fight (I didn't believe that they're only that). She seemed to be so into him that she immediately replaced his SIM card because of what happened which I didn't cared to explore anyway because I was so sure of its LAMENESS.

Before I slept later that night, I had an verifying epiphany while drinking my tea.


IF YOU WANT YOUR ROMANTIC DEVOTION TO ANOTHER PERSON BE RECIPROCATED AND MAKE YOU HAPPY, DEVOTE MORE TIME TO YOURSELF.

Healthy people (personality-wise) are more attracted and are more in love with someone who has a concrete identity, who has things really going on with one's life. Ergo, those who are, by themselves, sufficient enough and "complete".

It's better of someone would be with you not because that person needs you, but because that person WANTS to be with you.
I've seen countless people who devote their whole selves to the point that they'd leave their friends for that special someone and get dumped. It shows NEEDINESS, superficial neediness.


Needs that aren't really there. The need to be hugged. The need to be complimented. The need to be stroked with kindness every minute everyday. The need to have sex. The need to be given gifts (which usually are impractical and useLESS ones). The need to be given flowers (the plant's vagina). The need to have someone to ask them "kumain ka na?" or "nakauwi ka na?" The need to be taken care of. The need to have a relationship, no matter what. The need to be needed.

Have you ever experienced of quarelling or fighting with someone special (and its his fault) and the reconciliation is lubricated by him buying you flowers? His fault magically seems to disappear. Props like gifts are sweeter, but practical things are more sincere. Have you ever forgotten everything she did because of some hug or nibbling on your ear? It sucks.

Want a healthy relationship with a healthy partner? Get a LIFE! There's tons to talk about, enjoy, do and experience with people who have their own lives. Improving yourself for another person is LAME, especially if it's because of romance. Improve yourself because you want to, for yourself is the first and last one to appreciate that. Not him. Not her. Not even God. Not being needy makes someone wanted, as paradoxical or ironic as it may sound.

Go fix yourself before you sell your wares to the dating pool. Go fix yourself because you want to, not because of that someone. Because if that someone leaves, someone would be sprawled on the floor like a 10-foot Uno Stacko that just collapsed.