Mimosa Pudica

I'm not really known for my rarely awkward moments, since I'm more known as someone who does that to other people. My nasty tendencies towards other people's object of fondness, and by this I mean those that are stupidly trivial and conventional, makes me shameless and other people shameful. I'm not really sure if I treasure these rare moments, yet I am weirdly fond of them. To wit: It is any day after having my daily workout, with friends opting for many drinks because of someone leaving two days away, and so calls for decent pulutan in the form of barbecued pork belly.

Since I am the most accustomed to cooking, we set off to buy meats and liquor on a nearby mall. There is some protest regarding the bought meat, prompting the following exchange:


Guy-with-the-Gs: Nakabili na kayo ng liempo?

Me: Oo.

Guy-with-the-Gs: Sarap nyan, yung may marinate na.

Me: Hindi yung may marinate ang binili ko. 230 yung meron eh, 180 lang to.

Guy-with-the-Gs: Ha?! Eh magkano lang ba ang difference nun?

Me: Cincuenta. Marami na tayong mabibili nun, exempla garati: isang 2 liter na soda.

Guy-with-the-Gs: Ang korni naman eh, nagtitipid masyado. Nabili mo na ba?

Me: Oo nga.

Guy-with-the-Gs: OK na yan.

Me: All the more reason this debate is pointless.


We leave the grocery, heading out to our friend's car outside. With approximately 6 meters before the door, someone comes out of a boutique with, presumably, her sister. Wearing a sleeveless shirt whose color is somewhat in the shade of yellow, her long hair tumbling down her shoulders, the girl looks at me. We lock eyes for about 3 seconds, then she smiles, waves. Since I was cut short on laughing on a friend's joke that time, I was already smiling, conveying a see-I'm-happy-to-be-with disposition. I waved back, exchanged greetings with her and continued to walk. The name's Kimi.

My friends were a little excited and asked me how old the pretty girl is. They always reflexively ask me that whenever they see me talking, greeting, dancing, or even just chatting in YM with someone pretty, since it's an inside joke within us, because of my profession. I told them she's 16, and someone almost immediately said something apalling: "Penge naman ako nun!" I just rolled my eyes and answered inquiries about what school, how and why we know each other blahblah.

Then, in a flash of pure truth-seeing, I recognized something: I'm wearing crappy clothes, those that are good for playing basketball in the street, but inappropriate for malls.

This is not something new. I usually wear shorts and t-shirts, especially when I go out to the gym. I always wear these things, after thinking what to wear, then remembering not to think what to wear, wearing what I have worn have I not thought of thinking what to wear, the look of no look at all. What's new is me being conscious about it. I felt awkward, having to meet her, at the mall, with me like I've been in the public market.

I don't know if this is a case of me being awkward in front of someone pretty. But then again its not really a bad thing, the girl's darn pretty by objective standards anyway.

Tinatablan na ba ako ng hiya ngayon sa mga hindi naman nakakahiyang bagay?

But then again, maybe that's not the case, because I'm still brutally honest. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here, writing this post.