Pinay Classifications from a Chode

A. The pretty little overachiever
B. The sUpA fOiNe gAngStA gUrL
C. The overdressed girl
D. The backstabber!
E. The anti-flip whitewashed girl
F. The kind, sweet girl

Five certain truths about the attitudes of Filipino girls:
1. They want to be "the shit"
2. They want to be the girl that every guy wants.
3. They want to act like they're too good for you.
4. They want to act like they're so high-classed.
5. They want to be singers/dancers/models/actresses.

My greatest piece of advice to Filipino girls:
Listen close...
Listen real close...
"Be a bitch because you have to, not because you can."

*Memo to black guys that want to date Filipino girls:
-I hope y'all got a JOB!-

A. THE PRETTY LITTLE OVERACHIEVER
Age: birth and up
Intelligence: 90
Honesty: 54
Modesty: 12
Backstabbing: 60
Ho-bagness: 78

a. Usually seen at: at family parties showing off her awards, or her mother is showing them off. Also, she'll be at the parties playing the piano, while everyone is singing and dancing to "Achy Breaky Heart". Also, she is following her little scumbag control-freak boyfriend
everywhere, always paging him while he's cheating on her!

b. Usually wearing: a decent dresser- nothing too cheap and nothing too expensive. Just something from Contempo or Judy's. Usually wearing those long sundresses that she wears while playing piano during Sunday Mass. But sometimes wear skanky outfits just to tease her boyfriend!

c. Friendly? Yeah, but only to her friends and people of her "class." And also, like most Filipinos, she has an innate ability to talk behind people's backs. She is very competitive and thinks highly of herself. A snob at heart, she has been taught by her parents to act snobby and think less of other Filipinos.

d. Materialistic? Of course, she believes that just because she has excelled at everything (grades, money, success), she deserves the best guy available. Always believes she deserves "10's." Wants to date a guy at her "level" or "status". You know the rich guy, who drives a nice Toyota Supra and has a high paying job at the bank! But what happens is that he ends up being a controlling, womanizing, physical and mental abuser who fucks up her whole life.

e. Other attributes:
-Has always had straight A's her whole life.
-A show-off, always talks about herself and always has to prove her intelligence.
-Believes she is better than every other Filipino, but will never say she is.
-Goes in and out of relationships because she can never find the right guy who is at her level. Expects too much from a relationship.
-Wants guys to spoil her because she deserves it for being sooo smart,
sooo beautiful and sooo privileged.

B. tAh sUpA fOiNe gAngStA gUrL
Age: 12 and up
Intelligence: 15
Honesty: 15
Modesty: 45
Backstabbing: 88
Ho-bagness: 95

a. Usually seen at: Flip nightclubs jocking new guys, bending over at pool halls, video arcades, in bed with someone she met at the club, practicing routines with her dance crew for the nightclubs and did I say nightclubs?

b. Usually wearing: Something revealing her ass, navel, shoulders and sphincter? Not that there's anything wrong wit that. Well, she always wearing something that gets attention from sex-starved guys. Hmmm...like short shorts, crop tops, high, high heels, and those tight, bellbottom pants every girl wears! Also likes to wear all that Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Polo stuff. Sometimes she dresses like a little butch!

c. Friendly? Well yes if you're a fOiNe guy and if you have something to offer to her. If she wants something from you, she'll work her ass... errr, magic on you. A friendly girl who is just misdirected. She doesn't use her natural friendliness and charm to impress, she uses her looks and ass. She can be so beautiful, but lowers herself into looking like a slut to appease guys. She believes in order for the best (fOiNe) guy to like her, she has to show more ass and act like a slut.

d. Materialistic? Not really, she doesn't give a rat's ass if the guy is rich, smart, privileged or has a nice car. Well nice car does matter, but really as long as he is fOiNe! I don't know why, but she always ends up dating a gangster. She always goes to clubs and pool halls in the search of this fOiNe guy. Unlike the pretty overachiever, who has to have the "perfect" guy, the gangster girl prefers her guy just to be fOiNe!

e. Other attributes:
-Blond hair, plucked eyebrows, colored contacts... she is the antithesis of plastic girl.
-Her lifelong dream is to be a rap ho. You all know what that is. Here's the definition: the token Asian ho in a rap video, nuff said!
-Really is sad girl, low self-esteem.
-Always ends up with guys who use her for sex and for physical
punishment... then throws her away.
-Oh, there is so much beauty in her, too bad it's wasted and distorted.

C. THE OVERDRESSED GIRL
Age: 15 and up
Intelligence: 50
Honesty: 45
Modesty: 3
Backstabbing: 75
Ho-bagness: 98

a. Usually seen at: the mall in her skankiest outfit. At Sunday Mass, in her skankiest outfit with the priests and fathers checking her out. At the club, in her imperial skankiest outfit, usually dancing with no guys but with her other skanky friend. At the pool hall, in her supa-dupa extreme skankiest outfit. Also, at the grocery store at 9am in the morning in her skank outfit.

b. Usually wearing: anything tight. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Like skirts, business suits, those tight bellbottom pants that every girl wears. Also has a new pair of shoes every week. Dresses up for everything. Must wear those tight polyester or rayon pants with a spaghetti strap top, with a dark colored cropped jacket. Wearing a lot of makeup and she tops it all off with a snooty, snobby attitude

c. Friendly? Not at all! Hated by other girls deeply, the overdressed girl is the most snobbiest of all of the girls. Why? She thinks she's better than everyone else. In the way she dresses, in the way she looks, in the way she walks, and in the way she acts. She becomes snobby to all guys and the center of competition of other girls. Her goal in life? To become the bomb! She always has an attitude of "Why do all these guys want me?" or
"I'm sick of all these guys hitting on me!" When in fact, she loves and craves being the center of attention. She loves guys jocking her all the time. No matter who the guy is, she loves the attention. She loves it when girls stare at her in a jealous rage. These things are her only source of self-esteem.

d. Materialistic? Nope, she thinks she has everything. But really, she finds herself too good to be with anyone. She just wants to date someone at her level in looks. She usually dates either a gangster, a racer, or some rich guy. They become her accessories. She is a little heartbreaker usually treating guys like shit and using them for her own purposes (cars, rides, money, gifts).

e. Other attributes:
-First and foremost, she is the filipino girl that takes too long in the bathroom. You know when you go out with friends. And everyone goes to the bathroom, well she goes in first and comes out last. When she does come out it's already been twenty minutes.
-Always wanting to be the center of attention, she physically places herself in the middle of every group picture.
-Always placing attention on herself, she puts on little acts to try to get guys immediate attention. This is her only source of self-esteem besides her looks.

D. THE BACKSTABBER
Age: 14 and up
Intelligence: 80
Honesty: 11
Modesty: 44
Backstabbing: 100+
Ho-bagness: 90

a. Usually seen at: Talking shit behind people's backs. At parties and clubs. At the usual pool hall. Also at college filipino clubs and organizations.

b. Usually wearing: The usual Filipino gear, the tight pants or the sundresses, or the Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Polo stuff. The difference is that all the clothes she has are not hers, they're all borrowed. And she never contacts anyone wanting to return them.

c. Friendly? Only if you have something she wants. If you have something to offer to her, she will love you. Things like money, cars, free dinner, free tickets to Disneyland, connections to discounts and anything materialistic. If you have it, she will certainly put on the act to try to make you do her will. Really can put on the cutesy voice mail voice. Acts nice to everyone but when you speak to her one on one she really can talk up the shit. She
has the foulest mouth of all the girls, worse than the gangster girl. Will even make up lies to put people down and to move herself up in the popularity ladder.

d. Materialistic? Extremely, but she never admits it. Will only show her shallowness in her actions. Her choice of guys is much like the pretty girl, she wants a rich, handsome and nice-car driving guy that she can use to give her money, gifts, and popularity over other girls. The Filipino desire of wanting to be superior than other Filipinos is exhibited in this one completely. Except that she does it in an dishonorable, dishonest, cowardly and guile manner.

e. Other attributes:
-When you meet her, for the first two months, she'll be cool with you. But when she gets tired with you or when the "new" and "cooler" group of flips come in your life, she will ditch you, no doubt.

-She is a low-maintenance girl who believes she is high maintenance.
-She moves from guy to guy with reckless abandon. Like a locust, she
moves from one guy to another, using them for all that they are worth.
-Then when she doesn't need them anymore, she throws them away and goes for the next one.
-Be careful on this one.

E. THE ANTI-FLIP WHITEWASHED GIRL
Age: birth and up
Intelligence: 82
Honesty: 91
Modesty: 25
Backstabbing: 30
Ho-bagness: 65

a. Usually seen at: Disneyland showing off her white boyfriend. Coming in at the middle of big family parties showing off her reluctant white boyfriend. At college campuses showing off her white boyfriend to other Filipinos, thinking she's better.

b. Usually wearing: Just this, anything as long as it has her Greek Letters on it! Or sometimes a college sweatshirt, it has to be the college that her boyfriend goes to. Or anything that represents her boyfriend's school, class, car, anything!

c. Friendly? Not to Filipinos. I know everyone going to get mad at me at this one. But I'll say that 95% of Filipino/white relationships are Filipino girl and white guy. Why? Is it a "I'm dating a white guy and white guys are better than pinoys" thing? Maybe. Is it a "White guys are rich and they have all the power while pinoys only care about their cars?" thing? Maybe. Is it a "I want to be apart from Filipinos as much as possible" thing. Maybe. I can't put an answer to that one. Be it ignorance, hate, arrogance, or be it all, this girl does not get along with Filipino guys. I don't see why or why not? Overall, this girl is friendly but it has to take time because she has many stereotypes and prejudgments about her own race.

d. Materialistic? Somewhat and sometimes... really she just wants to be a little different. She wants to be in her own world, but also she wants to show off her goods (boyfriend and his possessions) to everyone and every Filipino. I knew a girl like this once, in fact I really liked her... but she said she was a simple girl, but she had rich-ass cracker boyfriend whom she used for all he was worth. It's hard to say about this girl, if she is materialistic or not. Who knows?

e. Other attributes:
-Always thinks that other Filipinos are looking at her and are jealous of her because she has a white boyfriend.
-Loves making a big deal and a huge issue the fact that she is in a interracial relationship.
-Look, here, we don't give a rat's ass who you date... but don't make race an issue or your badge of superiority.
-The thing about this girl is that despite how "un-Filipino" she wants to be, she is skilled at the Filipino desire to be superior than other of her fellow Filipinos.

F. THE KIND, SWEET, SIMPLE GIRL
Age: birth and up
Intelligence: 85
Honesty: 97
Modesty: 97
Backstabbing: 0
Ho-bagness: 0

a. Usually seen at: At school studying, at the beach, having fun with friends, at work or at home studying.

b. Usually wearing: Doesn't matter. Doesn't dress up too much or dress down either. Always looks decent. Knows how to dress up for the occasion. Someday she looks like the girl next door and someday she looks like a princess.

c. Friendly?: Very, very, very. It's not that she's friendly, she honest, modest, and sweet. A great listener who empathizes well. Really kind and gentle and always knows the right words to say. She will always pick you up when you're feeling down.

d. Materialistic? Simply, no. All she wants to do is give her time and effort to you. Doesn't matter who you are, she's there for you. So you got to be obligated to be there for her.

e. Other attributes:

-A smart girl who understand people well. Not ashamed to drop down a "level" and talk to someone in need of a friend.
-Does she exist? I hope so. I've seen girls like this but some of them have disappointed me.
-And sometimes, isn't it ironic when a nice girl like this dates the biggest asshole. It always seems to happen.

Rejected categories (They just missed the list.):
1. The actress/singer/model...well, that's everyone, maybe?
2. The fat girl who everyone calls "ate"
3. The mestiza girl, who makes a big deal because she's different and "mixed."
4. The bitchy girl that has a job at the bank.
5. The clubber/nymphomaniac.
6. The blue-haired alternative girl.
7. The ugly girl who thinks she's fine.